


Gestures

by sunshinewinchesters



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, Bromance, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Caring Dean, Dean Loves Sam, Dean Takes Care Of Sam, Dean Winchester and Feelings, Epic Bromance, Episode: s02e22 All Hell Breaks Loose, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hugs, Loving Dean, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, not wincest, relationship analysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 03:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3472166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinewinchesters/pseuds/sunshinewinchesters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam never tell each other 'I love you'. But at the same time, they do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gestures

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Destieltentylerjohnlockian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destieltentylerjohnlockian/gifts).



> For my Dean, Destieltentylerjohnlockian, for being the best big sister ever <3 You mean the world to me, but you already know that ;)

The Winchesters don't say 'I love you'. They don't come out and use those three overused words to communicate what they feel for each other, because some how, it isn't enough. That phrase isn't sufficient, doesn't hold the meaning it needs to, considering all they have been through together, all the sacrifices they've made for each other, how they have and will brave both Heaven and Hell and all that is in between just to see it through the other is safe. Their love for each other is unquestionable and the only thing they have to cling onto as a constant. Sam and Dean don't believe 'I love you' will express exactly what they need it to, so they say it and show it in different ways.

Like the first night Sam had fallen asleep after having been resurrected when Dean sold his soul in exchange for Sam's life back. Dean was thinking a million things when he had exited the bathroom, hair still damp from his shower, and his eyes had fallen on his baby brother, who was sprawled out in bed, sleeping obliviously despite the lamp on beside him. Dean had gazed at his brother for a long moment, taking refuge and finding relief and comfort in the flush coloring Sam's cheeks. The steady, soft rise and fall of Sam's chest as he breathed in and out. The evidence in life in the kid was everything to Dean.

The older hunter had walked over to stand beside Sam's bed, pulling the edge of the comforter up and tucking it snugly under Sam's chin, wanting to preserve the wonderful heat in Sam's body, heat that had been absent for so long after Sam had died. Sam had been so cold, his skin and flesh seemingly icy to the touch. Dean's fingers felt the warmth radiating from Sam's skin, felt the even pulse thrumming calmly as his hand skimmed Sam's neck. And Dean felt the vice that had been ever present around his chest since the minute Sam had gone still in his arms, dissipate.

He might be damned to Hell in just a couple days short of a year, but just seeing his brother alive and tucked safely into bed made it worth it a thousand times over. 

For just one moment, Dean could revel in the liberation of having his brother back in his care.

Dean sat on the edge of his own bed right across from Sam, pensive as he folded his hands and rested his chin on them, unable to take his eyes off his sleeping brother. Sam is Dean's lifeline, just as Dean is Sam's. The two brothers somehow managed to be the embodiment of codependent, and yet somehow, Dean saw it for what it truly was: a blessing. A treasure. The only thing that truly gave Dean something to always fall back on and to fight for when nothing else seemed worth it. Sam was always worth it. Always. 

Dean stood up after a long, brooding moment, and turned off the lamp on the nightstand, but did not move away from Sam. He reached down and swiped his brother's bangs out of his eyes, the gesture more tender and affectionate than Dean could ever bear to admit to. The older Winchester bent down and pressed a quick but gentle kiss to the crown of Sam's head before straightening up, his eyes tracking the outline of Sam's body as they adjust to the dark, before he climbs underneath the covers on his own bed. 

Dean lies on the left side of his bed, closest to Sam, just in case Sam might wake and need Dean, just like he used to do occasionally as a child. Dean remembers fondly how Sam would wake from a nightmare and reach out to grasp Dean's arm or hand, just needing the physical reassurance that his brother was right there with him, always there for whenever Sam might need him. Dean would always squeeze his hand back and mumble something along the lines of 'it s'okay, Sammy,' before they would both fall back to sleep. Just as he always has, Dean will continue to sleep on the side of the bed closest to Sam, just for this reason.

The green-eyed hunter contemplates saying something to Sam, because he never has come out and blatantly said I love you.

No. Both Dean and Sam have always expressed their brotherly love for each other in every other way besides that.

Every time Dean would bring breakfast back to the motel before Sam awoke for them, getting the coffee with two sugars and two of those little half-and-half cups, just how Sam likes it. 

When Dean would offer Sam the first shower after a particularly draining and arduous hunt. 

Each time Sam was hurt and the first words out of Dean's mouth were either 'Sammy!' or 'You okay?'

The way they'd always naturally stand too close to each other to be believable FBI agents.

Every promise Dean had made about never leaving Sam fulfilled.

All the declarations of faith Dean had made for Sam, even when the younger Winchester was scared of what he was becoming. All along Dean knew Sam was still his Sam. Never the monster Sam had made himself out to be. 

When the first thing Dean would look for after passing out was his brother, just to see if he was okay. 

Dean also recognized these same 'I love you's in Sam's actions and words. 

In how Sam always knew how Dean was truly feeling no matter how hard Dean worked to hide it. In Sam's silent promise of unswerving loyalty and endless empathy. When Sam would clutch his brother even tighter when returning a hug. 

The two always bantering playfully, throwing around a few 'bitch's and 'jerks' with light in their eyes, light that the other put there. 

No, Dean decides. He won't say I love you. That's too cliche, too shallow, for the Winchester brothers. 

For expressing what Sam means to him, how much Dean really does love his brother more than anything, Dean must find something else.

He quickly runs out to the Impala, searching through the trunk to find the green plaid blanket folded neatly in the corner, and returns to their room. Dean spreads it out over Sammy, smiling at the sight. It makes Sammy look younger and smaller, somehow more vulnerable, spurring the protective instinct in Dean and also bringing on a wave of endearment. This blanket has always been Sam's favorite, given to him when he was a kid at some point from who knows where, but the blanket was always cherished by the young hunter. Dean always breaks it out when Sam is injured and in need of another layer of comfort. 

The blanket is making a reappearance right now as just one of hundreds of gestures to come, all saying the same thing, but without those three words.

I love you.


End file.
